Where is the line between advocating and complaining? This is a question that people in many marginalized groups ask. If they don’t ask, perhaps they should. Unfortunately, the answer is sometimes a difficult one.
The question that is probably better asked is the following. Where is my win? Often times we examine a situation, and we don’t like it. Perhaps we don’t like it because we perceive an imbalance of opportunity. Maybe we perceive unfair preferential treatment toward members of a group to which we do not belong. Where is our win?
In martial arts, especially in Guardian Kempo, the art with which I have the most familiarity, there exists a principle of effective movement. I can more reliably and effectively move myself, more than I can reliably and effectively move someone else. I can influence someone to move the way I want them to. (Wristlocks and pressure points can be used to this effect.) Ultimately, I cannot make choices for my attacker. I can only limit their options. Where is my win?
My goal, with regard to self-defense, is to go home and have dinner with my family. If someone intends me harm, and I can defuse the situation by talking them down, I can still go home and have dinner with my family. If someone is persistent, and I need to respond with physical, even lethal, force, I can still go home and have dinner with my family. Where is my win?
Sometimes our options are limited. If we are attacked, and we improperly throw a punch, we could injure our hand. We then have one less tool available to us as we respond to our assailant. We could spend our mental energy and time bemoaning the fact that we cannot as effectively use our hand, or we could use all of the other tools available to us. Where is our win?
Problems have solutions. Circumstances with no solutions are facts of life. My blindness is not a problem because I cannot wish myself able to see. My response to my visual impairment is my problem because that is where the solution is found. Where is my win?
My problem is not that people are mean. My problem is not that people have prejudices. My problem is not that people are unfair. My problem isn’t even that I can’t do many of the things my sighted colleagues take for granted. My problem is “What do I need to do in order to better my life and increase my opportunity for success?” Where is my win?
It is possible litigation may be necessary to gain equal opportunity as people with disabilities. It is possible that laws we have relied on for decades may be eroded because some misused them. It is possible that our lives, liberties, and pursuits of happiness will be pushed back by others. Where is our win?
Regardless of what others do, even those who misuse the trust or power we give them, we can still win. There is one thing that can never be taken from us, no matter what level of adversity or injustice we face. Nobody can take away our ability to choose. Even with limited options, there is still a way to win. There is still victory.
Knock me down 7 times; I’ll get back up 8. Kill me, and my spirit will live on forever. You can control my body, manipulate my mind, or prey upon my emotions, and yet there is something that you can never control. My will is mine. Nobody can make me surrender my spirit. I will always find a way. I will always find my win.